I’m finishing up with my 6th infusion tomorrow. I’m vacillating between enrolling in an inpatient or outpatient trauma treatment that will continue ketamine treatment program after this: I suspect they will do the keta traques when I finish but I think - for the First time in my life - Go deeper and really do the work to deal with the trauma.
The suicidal ideations are gone - the reason I tried this treatment- I have PTSD and complex trauma PTSD. I am so grateful - as I’m better, to be sure.
Also gone is the desire to return to my life as productive member of society. Before I was a driven workaholic. The treatments have shown me that I am ensnared in relationships - chaos has always been my norm.
I see toxicity in my work as a full time traveling engineer and in 95% of my friends and family). It’s like I have just hit the tip of the trauma iceberg.
I have spent my whole life just medicated and dealing with it not at all.
Do I go for more in depth treatment? If so where?
Thank you for reading.