Did anyone else get scared by their first infusion?

I had my first infusion today, 2 hours. It was A LOT and when I was in it I felt scared and I wasnt expecting that. I can see it as funny know and I am not worried anymore but fuck it was intense. Like INTENSE and I really just wanted to stop. Anyone else? And how were your following sessions after that?

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FWIW, I did a LOT of research before making the decision to seek out LD infusion therapy, but the initial experience was nothing like the accounts I had read online, which did not describe any kind of intense experience, saying rather that a patient’s “hands felt big”, or that they might “feel a little floaty”. I wasn’t at all ready for the actual experience, which really defies any attempt to describe it. Having been through it now, you know what I’m talking about.

I’ve been through 12-13 now, and I can tell you that no two are ever the same, although the experiences seem to be of similar nature. Personally, I don’t look forward to them - I told my wife it’s like being dead - but she tells me that she can see the difference in me so it’s worth continuing.

If you do a search on “advice” you’ll find several bits of good information that you can use on the next treatment. Hang in there if you can - this treatment isn’t for wimps, but I think a majority of people see improvement. Good luck to you.

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When I first went down the K hole; I did not know if I was ever coming back out. That was scary in itself, but it was OK on ketamine to face it. Being a gunshot victim at nine years old I have some goofy stuff in my head about mortality. I had to swim through rivers of red wax and go through the blackness below and move to the next deeper layer like cold water as you go deeper swimming underwater. Definitely very intense!

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Aany fear/anxiety I experience has been related to a bad trip on street acid many (many, many) years ago. I have learned to just observe and let it roll over me, as opposed to trying to understand or control it and then having it run over me…the beach as opposed to a truck. Knowing (on some level) that I will be back on earth in an hour or so helps, too. It seems like forever sometimes, but with the street blotters it lasted for 4 hours or so, so it really seemed like eternity.

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I remember saying to the guy administering my 3rd or 4th infusion, “See you in an eternity” as he was walking out of the room. He got quite a chuckle out of that.

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I felt like I was falling into a black hole and never to be seen again. I was very scared to do the next one but surprisingly enough it was much, much less intense.

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@Sojourner you were left alone during infusion???

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Yes, @karans. They started the infusion, dimmed the lights and closed the door, leaving me alone with my experience. I should make clear that I was wired up with an EKG, BP, and blood oxygen monitor. They knew what was happening.

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@Sojourner, for me I needed someone there for me to not be scared, because even though the infusions were much less intense after the first one, they were still intense. So I needed someone there to ground me. But that’s just my experience.

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@Sojourner- My infusions are the same, physical monitoring and camera with sound so they can come in if I need them.

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I prefer to be left alone with 0 noise except my music. First three infusions I could hear people down in the lobby as if they were beside me. My Dr and my wife didn’t completely believe me until I described what I had heard. Being that I was up stairs in a closed room I should not have been able to completely hear what was said, but not only did I hear them I was able to tell what was being said and who said it- weird but true. It distracts me from disassociation so I wear earbuds and even started wearing a compression mask. This works for me and it seems the more weird and intimidating the experience the better I feel a few days later.

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Yes, everyone is different - I really hate having anyone in the room during my infusion which I found out during the first one. I can’t disconnect if someone is in my space. But like Sojuourner there are cameras, an EKG, blood oxygen monitor, BP cuff, etc. so I am being monitored very carefully! I tested that out once when I had a kink in the line and needed assistance.

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I prefer to be alone in the room. I brought my girlfriend one time and that was a bad idea.

Same with my clinic. I am monitored, but nobody is in the room for the majority of the infusion. I definitely prefer it that way!

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I agree that the deeper you can go the better the results!

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I’m so sorry that happened to you @SavetheVWBeetle

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It’s OK bad things happen to other people too. Unfortunately I am not special that way! Big hugs and thanks for thinking of me! It’s nice that I’m part of this community. I find it helpful!

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