Fear of Failure

After a disabling five plus year battle with TRD and anxiety, around 15 different meds, a full course of TMS, I find myself here.

After a great intake and first infusion on Wednesday l’m battling with the fear that this isn’t going to help either, anxiety beyond belief. I’m afraid if I can’t get myself into a better frame of mind it’s going to be detrimental to my treatment.

Anyone else had this fear and how have you dealt with it?

Thanks.

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Hi, ng126. You are absolutely not alone in this. That fear of “this is my last option, what if it doesn’t work?!” kept me from trying ketamine for months. (Follow that logic, if you can eye-roll emoji) I’ve read that same sentiment from so many in this community; the fear and anxiety is real.

And we’re all standing shoulder-to-shoulder with you.

I, too, have TRD and GAD. I’m taking other psych meds that have interfered with my progress (I take Adderall, Depakote, Lexapro, and Topamax - weening off each, but one at a time.)

When I started Ketamine, I noticed the physical symptoms of depression decreased, but the anxiety seemed to increase for a while. Right now I’m decreasing my Adderall and the ketamine is helping with the transition (Adderall withdrawal is no joke!).

It’s not been an easy process to date, but it’s better than the debilitating depression.

What eased my anxiety was talking to my doc at the infusion clinic about a plan following the first six infusions. I wanted to know what to expect and to make sure someone was keeping an eye on me.

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It’s not a quick fix for sure. I did my initial 6 every other day and then after that every booster has been better and further apart and I have had 3 total. I’m 50 years old and I have been lucky enough to be able to talk to someone that I personally know who has done infusions too. I actually helped talk her into doing them. She has done 7 and haven’t had to do anymore so far. The anxiety is slow to go away for me, but it is going away. Just keep pounding away and this will help you.

Hi there,
Don’t give up on your infusion treatments…make sure you have the support you need, were I go they have a therapist available, sometimes I do therapy during my infusion and it has helped my PTSD and anxiety tremendously.
Also, your dose you get can play a role in your results… it may take time to figure out the right amount for you. (I get 400mg over 4 hours)
****It’s important that you also have a positive and open mindset prior to infusions. Try listening to mediation music, enya or enigma during your infusion… it changed the experience for me when I started to do this.
** can also see if you can get troches at home to help with anxiety

I am interested to know how you did with the rest of your treatment. I had anxiety prior to and during. But it was the last resort. I wish I had done it a long time ago. Finances stopped me each time then my husband and I decided we had to do something or I would have a very bad result. I am feeling so much better. I am hoping you stuck with it. Let us know.

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