Feeling the crash

I have been experiencing improved ability to relax and even sleep a little more. The Ketamine is definitely facilitating some marked improvement. With that said, as the Ketamine weans out of my system it is a hard emotional fall! I have lozenge however, I can only use them on the weekend as I have to be very alert at my job ( that is a continuous fight as it is with the flashbacks and dissociation) and I often have some lay over effect from the Ketamine.
I have struggled this week. I am wondering if there is something I can do to make that crash not so impactful?

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I don’t know what your crash is like. Myself, I have a pressure cooker effect. Unfortunately that means anxiety and anger and it has to come out of me when I go down that rabbit hole of the past. As stupid as it might sound there are studies showing that intense screaming for this type of pressure does help. It helps me. It’s like the fight or flight response where there are chemical changes that occur. Also, reading and researching, exercising, painting, building things and being creative tends to take my mind off of my dip in depression and anxiety. Hope this helps.

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I hear you! I wish I had an answer for you, but at least know you’re not alone. I actually just talked to my psychiatrist about this today, wondering why I can only for about 10 days before I start wilting and the effects of the ketamine wear off. She said I should think about it differently-if it’s working, let’s think about the days that it’s NOT working and what we can do to help.

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Thank you for responding Ant and SOHoffman.
Ant, I am finding different outlets when I feel such a crash. I used to get on my bike and ride until I couldn’t possibly ride any more. Unfortunately, the RA has put a cap on that right now however, I do go out and walk my dogs. I have also started diamond painting. Great suggestions.
SOHoffman, It does help to know I am not alone. I know this is a process and it is encouraging to realize the Ketamine is working. My crash is hard on many levels. After a Ketamine session I get 4 to 5 nights where I actually get anywhere from 2-4 hours of just calm sleep. For me it seems like such a drastic fall from relaxed to hypervigilance! I do know healing doesn’t happen over night, it’s just so difficult to lose that calmer state and sleep!. I also need to work and the exhaustion (which never use to bother me but seems to be catching up with me) makes days very long. The more exhaustion, the more I have to fight the flashbacks and dissociation at work to stay in the game. Lucky I have done this job for 1000 years and do have the ability to go on short periods of auto-pilot.
I really appreciate all of you and the opportunity to use this app. I have kind and understanding people in my life. With that said, it is so comforting to talk with people who have “done that, been there” so to speak.

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You will get tolerance to ketamine. Two years into this I have infusions of 180 mg and take 300 mg troaches daily and function fine. No k hole anymore. Hope this helps.

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Boosters every two months.

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Do I hear you say a tolerance that allows you to function however, still is effective in regards to learning and changing perceptions? In other words, do you still have the psychedelic effects for discovery or are they more of maintenance sessions.

I don’t know if it’s working after my infusion 10 days ago. I just do some thing but also a lot of resting. I’m retired so don’t have to work.

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How do you feel?

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Thank you for asking. I am still crashing pretty hard. My provider has suggested I take the lozenges at home twice a week instead of once a week. Unfortunately, my work hours make that very difficult. My the time I get home from work and complete those basic chores that must be done each night e.g. care for the dogs, I do not feel like I have enough time to take the lozenge and recover before leaving for work again. I leave for work pretty early. I have such horrible nights trying to achieve a calm sleep, anything that makes it more difficult to get going and function in the morning is something I have to avoid. I think the 2nd dosage may help but I have to figure out how to accomplish that task.

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I also generally do two home sessions a week, though I personally find I go deeper if I space out my trips, because tolerance does build. I was basically suicidal at the end of an infusion 3 weeks ago, rationalizing suicide at the end. Nothing dramatic, just, "ok, I’m done here (done with struggling), time to leave [life]. I stayed there for 2 weeks in hell mood. I finally messaged my doctor, who had me in for a booster ASAP. And, thank God, it worked. Whatever switch needed to be flipped, that was what my body needed. Doc emphasized that this is all part of the process, and with everything else I’ve tried, I do agree. Exercise and K are the only things that really work.

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I am so happy the booster worked for you. It is most definitely a process!

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I find it hard sometimes to take the troche because I feel like I need to get stuff done. I also struggle with sleep and have for years. It can be really hard. People that don’t struggle to sleep have no understanding of what it is like. Hard to heal and reset when you don’t REM. It also can really screw up your moods. I am taking a melatonin supplement that seems to be helping a little bit. Today I picked up some good Colorado CBD. That should also help without having to drug myself. Ketamine can be activating; so my doctor said to take it earlier in the evening if you can. Even though it relaxes us, it is not a great sleep aid for me. The troches definitely help with my mood if I am feeling a little down. You have to think about this stuff and how to make it all work together. Thank you for putting ideas out there to talk about. It is helpful to hear others and how they are using their medicine!

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You hit the sleep issue right on the head. I will say I have been able to achieve more sleep since being on the ketamine although it is not predicable when the sleep may happen. Typically with each ketamine session I get 3-4 hours of calm sleep at some point within 36-48 hours of the session. On my 4th IM session I actually got 7 hours of calm sleep. Most nights calm sleep is difficult to achieve. Most of my sleep is very disturbed or at very least agitated. Some nights I just choose to stay awake after having a nightmare/terror. It is particularly difficult when I get up and physically move around while in the disturbed sleep. I now block all my doors at night every since waking up on the street a block from my house trying to get away. Waking up from a night terrors trying to establish where you are is hard enough when you are in your own house. Waking up out on the street is terrifying and very difficult to ground yourself.

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We are here to support you Deb! Stay strong! Sending you some good healing vibes and hoping we both get more sleep!

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Thank you! Here’s to more sleep!

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