First treatment

First treatment went really well. Horrible anxiety waiting for the appointment but it went really well. I felt like I traveled through space without any awareness of my environment. I wore a eye mask and had a great play list from Spotify. Today I laughed for the first time in months. Grateful!!

8 Likes

My profile picture was taken by my wife after my second or third session. It was the first time she had seen me truly laugh in a long time. So grateful she got a picture. When she sent it to me I think I even cried a little because it was the first time I had seen that spark in my eyes in a long time. I like to look at it now as a reminder that everyone has that spark/light inside and I was “put” here to radiate my light and hopefully help brighten/spark some others along the way. Remember this moment, you’re on the right path and have tons of support in this community. It took me a bit to actually open up and use it but I’m so glad I did. Welcome to the journey! 🫀⚡️

8 Likes

Thank you. My second one was much more dark than the first.

2 Likes

@Alyjeffer It’s okay - it may not be fun but it isn’t unusual. You can do this. It’s worth it. It’s really hard feeling all the emotions during and after treatment but it’s all part of the path to healing. :heart:

3 Likes

@Shepherdess, I don’t know if it’s because my dosage is higher, but I don’t generally experience emotion during an infusion. At the place I used to go, they would ask me afterwards if it was a positive or negative experience. I finally told them that the question was meaningless, like trying to describe love as a mathematical equation.

Although I did find myself laughing during my last treatment, which was a first. It’s a little hard to reconcile dissociation with laughter, since laughter requires a body.

1 Like

@Sojourner Could be - I would say I experience emotion in terms of wonder or sometimes fear but I don’t laugh or cry like many do. When I referred to feeling emotional during treatment I really meant during the intensive series of treatments - I felt just generally very raw emotionally during that time although not necessarily specific to any one feeling.

More and more…I marvel at how just as all of us have unique life experiences, our brains and how they react to treatment are equally unique. While there may be commonalities it is still very much an individual experience. I, too, would find the whole negative/positive question a bit bewildering.

2 Likes

I am at almost 24 hours after second infusion. I feel like the oppressive fog is lifting some. I wish my Practitioner would respond to whether or not this is normal? Or my dose too high? Don’t know if I can handle a third infusion.

1 Like

I think it’s completely normal. I felt pretty unnerved and down after more than a few of my sessions. I think it’s just part of the process. Be patient and loving with yourself. I felt overwhelmed and exhausted by the time I had my 6th session. They were spaced every other day. You just have to trust the ketamine and more so yourself. If you want an unprofessional opinion on your dosage, I would say it might be too low. I’ve done two different 6 session treatments spaced about a month apart. The 2nd clinic gave me quite a bit higher dosage and I feel like it was more beneficial. My second clinic was also everything I ever dreamed of as far as support, environment and technology. I think my 12th session was 200 and I weigh 155. Even at higher doses you still get that let down feeling. Questioning if it’s worth it and if you can take more… just keep going. You’re on your way! 🫀⚡️

2 Likes

I’ve just begun to realize just how different these clinics can be from each other. When I read @Kara’s account of being turned down for treatment and another $1,000 for another intake I’m mystified, because my experiences have been nothing at all like hers. My first clinic was great, I thought. I had to be approved for the therapy by a psychiatrist, but that was to be expected. The second one gets really high marks though, because they use a bolus, and that really helps a lot. Instead of waiting 10-15 minutes for the infusion to build to full effect I get there in 2-3 minutes, so it effectively extends the infusion by 10 minutes or more. Add to that the Mindfold mask and weighted blanket, and the experience was raised to another level. I’m very grateful for that extra blast at the beginning.

2 Likes

I remember, after a few treatments, feeling joy. It was such an odd feeling, I had to blow off the dust, but there it was. Best wishes to you on the journey!

2 Likes

Thank you for the encouragement. I am ready to give up. This is a lonely journey.

It’s different for everyone. I’d hang in there if you can. If it does work for you, it will work in a big way. And its success rate is phenomenal…something like 75% or more, if I recall correctly.

Try to set an intention of relinquishing control to your own higher self, then consciously let go, assuming it will happen. It really does help.

4 Likes

It can definitely feel lonely. That’s why we’re here! This community has been a huge source of support to me. Just keep trucking’ we have your back! 🫀⚡️

2 Likes

If the fog is lifting, why worry? The way I describe it to people is that I don’t go from 0 to “end of the world” in milliseconds.

My experience was that during the 6 dose build up, each step up, the effect lasted a bit longer. The first time, a day or 2. The second time, a few more days. The third time, a week or so. #4, about a month. #5, almost 2 months. #6, 3 months, +/-. Now I go about 3 months between boosters. I bit longer in spring and summer. I have a SAD component to my depression issues.

2 Likes

Me, too, @salty, regarding the SAD component. And as we head into the winter months and I live in the northern climes, I’m starting to get a little anxious about what’s to come. Deep breaths, I know. We got each other.

1 Like

Have you ever looked into the therapy lights (no pun intended)? My therapist recommended “Alaska Northern Lights”. I was pretty regular with it for the first 2 or 3 years, kind of fell off a bit. Still have it, should get back into using it, because I think it helped.

Maybe I should try troche sessions with the full spectrum, high intensity light.

If you didn’t already know it, the lights require some advance planning, since some of the hormones produced have a lag time between production and use. At least, that is the way I remember the description I got.

1 Like