My first infusion is on Monday. At first I was only worried about surviving until then. Now, as it approaches my apprehension has increased. Worried about what might come out (CPTSD). But also maybe more worried that this will also fail me. How did anyone deal with the pre-anxiety before your first infusion? In other words, before you had the support of ketamine in the first place?
My first advice would be not to fight the onset of the experience. If you’ve never had any kind of psychedelic experience before, this could be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Relax into it, holding the thought that you are in fact loved, indeed - you are love itself. Hold that thought in your mind as best you can, and I would expect that you will have a good experience.
It’s magical. Get your playlist ready tonight. Hydrate as much as possible. You’ll be fine. Enjoy it.
Thanks, already have half the playlist. All Ludovico Einaudi on Spotify. As I stay busy the anxiety is dropping.
I do recommend asking your caregiver for Zofran to prevent nausea. Nausea can distract from the afterglow feeling.
@jacobkaine, one thing to keep in mind since this will be your first infusion-there is a known relationship between ketamine and the bladder. I think you’ll find that it’s in your best interests to refrain from drinking anything for a few hours before your infusion, and to use the restroom before going in.
My personality type is sort of naturally fearful. I made way more out of the fear factor than I needed to before my first infusion. I calmed down over time with the help of the amazing staff at my clinic, and some very kind people on this thread. I wish I could go back and tell terrified me that it’s all good and no harm will come. Genuinely, there hasn’t been any terror I’ve felt that wasn’t from me. There can sometimes be weird imagery, but it’s not anything you can’t rationalize or breathe through. This is only my opinion, and I would never minimize or assume I understand what you are going through. I wish you the very best!
Thanks for all the input and support. Will remember the bladder, as I tend to drink lots of water. I am really coming to love this community. Looking forward to tomorrow, and to post how the first treatment goes. Thanks everyone!
I agree. Hydrate tonight, so you don’t have to drink as much tomorrow!
I like this. I am love, and love can be messy, kinda fucked up and imperfect, but it’s still love.
How did it go? I love Ludovico Einaudi. I have several of his songs on my playlist. Try Cris Derksen “The Cusp” álbum. She’s amazing. One tip I have is to have someone in the room with you. I tell my wife if I tap my finger to change the song for me. If you are going down a bad path, and aren’t ready for It, you should change the music. Opening your eyes should be a last resort. I think opening your eyes gets you out of the experience and Can sometimes make it worse. I sometimes use the headspace app and do a meditation before I go, or in the car. Remember to breathe. Deep breaths help relieve anxiety and help you get through those overwhelming times. I literally tell myself in my head “think positive”, “think positive”, if I’m worried. Try not to work, watch the news, or anything else that can trigger a negative thought loop. Make sure you let go. I kept on thinking I was going to die. The nurse came in once and lightly touched my arm and said you’re okay. Ever since then I knew I would be okay. I get visuals and noticed that certain colors are “positive” upbeat colors for me like fluorescente Green, yellow, light blue, and white. Red and black are normally not great. Try to think of a positive color. That helps me as well. I hope your first time went well.
Sorry for the belated response. So i finished the two week treatment. Final result is that I had hoped for more. Took until the 4th, second week, before I realized I was fighting the ket each and every time. Would like to start over, but don’t we all? As far as playlists, I highly recommend Ludovico Einadi. Check out latest release, ‘Night,’ with Amy Dickson.
It’s been almost a week and I feel ‘it’ scurrying around, trying to gain a foothold.
It took me until the 4th as well. I would try to get on troches and boosters. I almost feel like you need to practice. I don’t think 6 is enough to get confortable. It can be a little intense at first. Troches aren’t as strong and you do them at home. It kind of preps you for an infusion. Once you can let go, it will help with physical symptoms and bring up what’s in your subconscious. Sometimes we know why we are the way we are, but we don’t really know. Like we think we’ve moved past something, but it’s got free real estate in our subconscious.