I Apologize

It isn’t my intention to throw shit at or on anyone here.

Even with ketamine, troches (same thing…sort of), it is very hard, when my skin, GI, and mind are screaming for escape, to maintain any sort of semblance of Polite.

For what it is worth, according to pattern, this is the tail end of getting glutened. Not pretty, unpleasant (especially if you are around me), but it is improving. I have stopped bleeding. Yay.

It sucks to be afraid of your food.

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@salty big hugs. I’m so sorry. Hope tomorrow is a better day. :heart:

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Every day further away from the exposure is better than the one before…some of it is (and I am not trying to be harsh with me) feeling sorry for myself.

But, it sucks. It is enough of a problem that I have to take iron supplements (which, short version, can make the problem worse). It is just discouraging to have a problem that any solution just seems to make the problem worse.

I did a troche last night. Today has been better. No new stains. I still want to cry, right now.

Goddammit. Where is my teddy bear when I need it? (I am still trying to not take myself too seriously)

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@salty Hell, I get pissed when somebody assures me there’s no onions and within an hour I’m surfing a toilet in pain. That’s nothing compared to what you’re enduring. I don’t think you’re feeling sorry for yourself. It’s a lot more like completely justified righteous indignation. :heart: Glad it’s almost run its course.

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If this forum can’t support one of our own who’s going through a rough time, I would have to say that we’d failed at our purpose. I don’t see a need for an apology, only a desire that you be free of pain.

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Thank you, but that doesn’t excuse me from at least acknowledging my blow up.

I guess that is part of the problem. It doesn’t result in anaphylaxis. I don’t die (although when it happens, I start thinking that way). It is just a Jekyll and Hyde thing. I am fine, I can hang on, but then someone steps on my toes and it is right off the deep end.

I feel sorry for myself, but I feel bad for my people around me that they have to put up with it, Goddammit.

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You set high standards for yourself. I get that too. My therapist is always on my case about the impossibly high expectations I have for my own behavior. Learning to be kind to yourself is tougher than being kind to others.

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I’m praying for everyone on this board whether you believe in God or not. And I hope every one of us finds peace and healing.

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Well, at least tomorrow is a day off, so I can sleep in (at least until the kitties demand breakfast). I have a week off coming up soon. My non-Osmind pal will be home from his vacation, maybe we can hook up and compare notes.

Again, thank you. And again, I apologize. (re: Henry Rollins, “Decorator” It isn’t your fault.).

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@Sojourner You nailed that right on the head!!!

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