I’ve had some scary ones. What type of music do you listen to? I recommend at the beginning to listen to music without words or if you do, you should make sure that they can’t be interpreted in a negative way. Only positive songs. I used to worry about not having control of my thoughts or what I might look like to my wife so I could not “let go”. I look at it like surfing. You need to try to let the music take you away. One day I just said f*** it, and let go of my inhibition and ego and relaxed. I remembered my breathing exercises from my headspace app. I had near death experiences especially since my blood pressure went up so I could hear the machine making noise and it freaked me out. Just remind yourself you will always come back, AND breathe. Breathing is the best thing you can do. Take some deep breathes and literally tell yourself “think positive” in your head. If you have someone with you tell them to keep an eye on you. Give them a thumbs down to change a song. Songs can take you down a bad path sometimes. I also recommend trying to do it first thing in the morning. Don’t look at your phone, watch TV, or talk to anyone except the person driving you. Avoid any negative topics. If you know of a happy song that you like tell them to change it to that song if you get into any trouble. My go to song if I’m literally lost in a k-hole or freaking out is a song by the Chemical Brothers called “Lost in a K Hole” it has so make different weird elements that it kind of recenters me. I feel that songs that aren’t fast, but have a lot going on are the best for me. It’s kind of confusing so you aren’t thinking or ruminating on one thought. Also touch helps. If someone grabs your hand and just says you are safe or you are okay. Honestly I feel when you let go is when you have the best lasting effects, you normally have an epiphany about seeing someone else’s point of view, or judging yourself less, it also helps remove any physical symptoms from anxiety or depression like a tense body or stomach. I know it can be scary, but what I also realized that I can relate to my own life outside of an infusion is you still have some control. If you go down a bad path change your mindset, music, open your eyes and go back in, or look to the right, left, up, or down with your eyes closed. Also certain colors make me feel at peace. Mine are light green, light blue, yellow, and white. I try to think those colors and they normally appear. I recommend not trying to wake up or open your eyes, just ride the music like a wave. Find a part of the music to focus on. If you have Spotify try “Ketamine initiation” playlist or kind is Ketamine voyage. I’ve added some stuff and need to play around with the order. I recommend looking at other people’s playlists and making your own. Think of where to place the songs. I think the order is important. Just remember wherever your mind takes you, if you can breathe you are still alive. Let that be your grounding. Do some deep breaths. Maybe even before you are completely under. Hope this helps. I’m curious to see how your next one is.