New to Treatment

I just finished my 3rd infusion. I’ve dealt with medication resistant depression for years. I have to say I don’t like the experience of the infusion. So I’ve decided 3 is all I’m doing. I will see how I feel over the next few weeks. Has anyone else disliked the infusion experience?

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I had a difficult time with the initial series and almost quit. My clinic did everything they could to make it a positive experience. It’s been almost year now, with infusions every month. Things have gotten better, but it’s still not a pleasant experience. The reason I keep going is that I believe it is helping. After being numb and barely present for over 20 years, there was a lot of emotional baggage to unpack. Facing my past trauma, understanding what part I’ve played in it and learning to cope in a healthy way has been a huge undertaking. I’m only a little bit of the way there, but I’m on my way. That’s why I’m sticking with it. This is just my experience and I don’t claim to have any higher knowledge of Ketamine or mental health.
I wish you all the best.

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I didn’t think they were working when I first started my initial 3 and I didn’t have a good experience with the drunken feelings afterwards. It wasn’t until numbers 4 & 5 that I felt they were working. My councilor was actually waiting on another client while I was waiting for my turn for infusion #5 and my wife and councilor and a couple other people were there and we all were joking around and laughing. My councilor looks at me and she says I’ve never seen you so happy. It was a turning point in my belief in ketamine infusions. I had not been happy in a long time like that. You will have ups and downs, but it takes more than a few times. I’m doing #11 next week and have been spacing each one out about 4-6 weeks depending on how I feel. My wife said the last one was my best yet and I’m doing much better each time. Hope this helps.

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Thank you for your reply. The sessions are actually a little scary for me. I don’t like not being in control of what goes on with my body or mind. My 3 infusions weren’t like anything I have read of others experiences. I do feel much better. I’m just gonna take it day by day. I was so praying for this being a miracle for me.

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Thank you. I don’t mind the drunkeness afterward. I don’t like the feeling during the infusion. I’m only on .6. No way will I ever go to .9.

I can relate with you on the fear issue. That was my biggest hurdle getting through the treatment. Like you, I can’t stand feeling out of control or “trippy”. When I started I was discouraged by reading so many testimonials about amazing experiences. After being on this site and chatting with some very kind people, I noticed that results run about 50/50. Some instantly miraculous, other’s-step by step.
All the best to you. Peace

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Aww, I’m sorry to see this. Just curious, I’m new here too (haven’t even started treatment yet) are you working with a therapist after treatments?

Completely understandable that you don’t enjoy the infusion experience. This whole process can be very uncomfortable at times - whether it’s how you feel during the actual treatment or the hard emotional work between treatments!

Whatever you decide to do - it is your decision and not right or wrong. Best wishes for strength and healing regardless of what you choose to do for your journey.

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I learned to embrace the experience by looking for different things that my mind will see and focusing on being able to make short comments to myself about what I’m seeing. An example of that is I see lots of different colors and textures at different angles and as if there are multiple giant movie screens that make up my full visual experience. One that I remember was an outline of a city that looked to be all neon red trimmed in black and I was above it. It actually was pretty cool to see I remember saying “this is wild and this city is crazy looking because none of the outlines connects but it still looks like a city”. That’s the kind of thing I focus on after that experience.they are all different for sure though.

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No, I’m not. I do feel alot better than I did before I had my first infusion. I am certainly thankful for that. I just do not enjoy the trippy experience or how it makes parts of my body numb for hours. I’m one of those who has never taken any illegal drug or abused any prescription medication. I’m boring…lol.

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I work with a therapist right after and I feel this an imperative part of the process for me.

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Please don’t give up. It is not meant to be a pleasant experience. It’s work. You will never be healed, but you will feel better. Set up a typical treatment for me. Tell me from when you walk into the office until you leave. Everything that happens with the Doctor’s and how the process begins and ends. Trust me you might be in the wrong clinic. If you enjoy the process? Then you are there just to get high.

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The infusions are work and were often not a really a pleasant experience. Mine were rough before they got better. I learned to just let go and “Trust the process”. Best of luck to you

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Well put. When they would ask me at my clinic if I thought I had a positive or negative experience, I finally told them that the question was meaningless.

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You see the Movie Screens also? I wear a Mindfold mask & my eyes stay open. To me the darkness with my eyes open becomes a giant movie screen. Time before last I told the Docs it earned an Academy Award that day because I processed so much. Still scary at times, but I broke through a lot.

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Remember though it is suppose to be a journey. Good or bad. Do they just ask and that’s it? Mine talk to me if I want to. They have also introduced a vibro-acoustic meditation afterwards. Guys this thing is amazing. It feels like it evenly distributes the Ketamine making me less groggy and I remember more. Look up in harmony. https://iaminharmony.com/products/inharmony-meditation-cushion

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I just had another infusion Wednesday and listen to “Marconi Union - weightless” again and used my Covid mask as eye covering (I’m sure I looked really cool with my grey hair and goat tee sticking out lol) and it was truly different. The part that I remember the most was I could see, taste, and smell the words “nothing matters” and it was truly amazing and weird at the same time. The words looked like they were made of iron riveted together and the smell and taste was actually nice. I never smelled or tasted that flavor, but it was nice. Not sure if something should be read into it or it was just a wonderful disassociation.

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Great mask!

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I don’t “like” the experience but I’ve come to look forward to the infusions because I do think they are helping. After the first one I wasn’t sure if I would come back. I am type A and have severe anxiety so the lack of physical control is bothersome. I always worry about peeing myself, plus there’s usually the feeling that I’ve died. And I stagger around like a drunk afterwards. But you do get used to all of it and see that nothing truly bad ever happens. It’s like nightmares.

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I haven’t done any infusions yet but sounds pretty terrifying.:flushed: