New to Treatment

Ok so I had my 3/6 infusion today. I started Monday and it was a very interesting experience (starting dose). Wednesday’s experience was really difficult (increased dose). I had a hard time during the infusion and after. Today my infusion was given with versed and at a lower dose than Wednesdays. It was a much more pleasant surprise experience. I actually feel “better”. My worry is that at a lower dose it won’t work as well? Also how the additional medication may impact the ketamine treatment. Also I’m becoming increasingly nervous about needing boosters or the nasal spray. Kind of looking for some reassurance or guidance. Sorry that was more than I planed to write. Thanks!

2 Likes

Did you discuss any of your concerns with the staff at your clinic?

1 Like

I’ve messaged them and have been asking other questions too. Honestly the whole process has been a bit scary for me, of course my life has been pretty scary the past several years so it maybe a mute point.

1 Like
1 Like

The anesthesiologist who administered the ketamine infusion for me was basically guiding himself by wether I’ve reached a disassociation state or not, if i did not, he would bump the dosage and at the end will ask if I felt like entering a scary place at any point to determine if the dosage was too much (apparently too much evil and darkness is something they want to avoid).
If they give you too much ketamine in relation to your body weight and the drip is set too fast, instead of experiencing hallucinations and disassociation you go straight to simple “passing out”completely sedated by the anesthetic just like you were being prep for surgery with no consciousness of the event. People that experience the K-hole (still aware of your thoughts but not in control of your body or the imaginary around you), those people described it like being “dead”, I was only able to get there once and I keep grinding my teeth my wetting my lips to let myself know I was still alive. The music fades away until you can not hear anything just you talking with yourself like you are somewhere else in your head.
It is my understanding that whatever you get to experience with ketamine has nothing to do with the effectiveness of the drug, in order words ketamine will still work creating those new synaptic pathways regardless of you being on the left field watching a movie of your life but detached/from behind the fence like whatever is going on have nothing to do with you; being in the middle of a shit show about things you recognize and not able to stop watching terrible things and praying “please let it end soon”or flying across Neverland with the lost boys.

2 Likes

Trust the process, many people here have endured the terror of being out of control of your mind while under and seeing pretty intense things but at the end it all all worth it. Typical case if you want to enjoy the rainbow you need to endure the rain (for some), for others is the best experience in their life, fun and euphoric. We are all different.

1 Like

I am coming up on 2 years of treatments, but my clinic does higher dose IM (series of 3 per session) as opposed to IV. I am learning here that my experience is a bit different from many. I always go dissociative. Not total black hole (or as seen it referenced, K-hole), I can respond when they come to check on me and give me the next shot. Not very coherently, I’ll grant you.

But, as Rafael said, trust the process. I don’t find the experience pleasant, I have been a little anxious/scared a couple of times (similarities to a Bad Trip on street blotters many years ago), but nothing that I couldn’t handle. I can’t control it, but if I just remind myself (as much as I am capable) that I am OK, and only observe, things are more smooth.

At first I tried to “hang on” and try to find some deeper meaning in it all. Those were the times that I started getting anxious, so I let go and kept my hands and head in the ride.

As far as boosters go, they are part of the deal. After my first 6, I go about 3 months between boosters. After my last one, I talked with them about troches and started using them. I still haven’t worked out all the details on what will ultimately work best for me, but I have my next booster session next Saturday and will talk with them about that. They give me a “chill pill” (I can’t remember what it is, some mild sedative) and an anti-nausea pill. It does leave me wiped out for that whole day and I usually yawk on the way home anyway. Early in the process they were able to let me stay in the treatment room longer to recover before I called my ride and throwing up wasn’t an issue.

All in all, I find that all that is a small price to pay for 3+ months of what my clinic’s stickers call “Mind Peace”.

2 Likes

I found versed almost completely negated the therapeutic effect of ketamine. I would recommend against it based on my personal experience. I think your mind remembers the dissociated state and that is how K helps. Take versed and your mind won’t remember the dissociative state, hence no benefit.

Thank you for this post, Rafael, it really helped when I was asked to give my clinic feedback on how my first dose went.

I just had my 2nd of the 6 initial doses yesterday. Both experiences have been excellent. I think it helps that I’m very comfortable with disassociating, after 5 years of chronic migraines. Disconnecting from my body’s sensations has been a critical survival technique!

I just woke up with a burst of manic creative energy, but my brain has calmed back down after an hour, so that’s fine. It’s nice to have a bunch of new ideas to play with, but not get too worked up trying to get them all done at once. Also nice to have some confirmation that the ketamine treatment is acting on my mind outside the one hour I’m getting the infusion.

1 Like