Religious convictions

Has anyone been dealing with the conviction of what God would want you to do. I’ve heard the response got created and God created medicine or created men to create the medicine God created mushrooms and so I canelics but I’m really struggling with this is not what God would want me to do but because of my severe depression and anxiety a friend taught me into it and I even had someone tell me it will draw me closer to God. I’m on my fifth infusion this Saturday but still feel like this is not God’s plan and I don’t really feel good anyway mostly just sick to my stomach which I guess is part of ketamine. Any reply would be grateful

Sorry this is a little long but if it helps at all I was raised Mormon (both my parents still practice but my siblings and I don’t due to trauma that happened during my parents divorce but that had nothing to do with the religion more the people), but my mom is also a nurse and understands the medical benefits of ketamine treatments (just a back history for you so you understand I get your thoughts on the religion aspect).
But to be honest with you I don’t think your doubts on if “God wants you to do this” has anything to do with God. I think it has to do with the human ego, and not wanting to let go of whatever you are protecting emotionally.
I’m pretty sure God has led you to this certain path in your life to help you heal, not to damage you or harm you. As someone once explained to me God is like a parent and parents want to see their children prosper and not suffer, and if they can provide tools to help them they will.
I think you are standing in your own way of healing, because you are having a hard time letting go and the only place you can point a finger or reason for it is God. No matter what God loves you, but it’s not him standing in the way.
So try to let it go and just be, you are fighting so hard to be in control. That was me too the first few times, I couldn’t believe how hard of a time I had of letting go of the control, because I have been in fight/protection mode since my parents divorce. When I learned to let go it felt amazing!!! It was like a whole new world! Wow!
I want that for you, I hope you can get there.
My recommendation to you would be to say a prayer before you go and leave it up to God and the universe because what will be will be. Also, try to listen to comforting perhaps religious music to comfort you during your session, and maintain an open mind but also remember you are loved by God. He created people on this earth so they can help each other through this life, especially when times are hard.
So try to reflect on what is really stopping you from surrendering. :heart:

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Thank you so much for you thoughtfulness and kind words and encouragement. I do have my music list of my Christian songs that I listen to it will admit during times of treatment certain songs just were just amazing. The song You are God alone and oceans by Hillsong amazing. I was told that this treatment will help me draw closer to God but for some reason there’s still a disconnect I know that God loves me but I’m going through such a hard time I just can’t feel or do anything. The other problem I have with it is I’m so sick to my stomach and lightheaded and dizzy and as a red post I know that a lot of other people deal with the same thing and I question do I want to keep on feeling sick like this even though I have only two more treatments to go. I can’t sleep at night. Once again thank you I know believe that God is in control and I’m not doing anything out of his will i am afraid of what I am very inside and it is so painful to bring out. May God continue to richly bless you

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Hi.

Tough questions ahead. As for my background, mine is similar to @Sunshine - ex-mormon cult member who was involved in the leadership. I left because I prayed…my daughter was suffering from cancer (5 1/2 months old - Wilms Tumor).

I felt overloaded and something had to give. I was yet to be officially diagnosed as BP1, so I was floundering and dying. I prayed, and the answer I received was “You don’t need this religion, your own Spirituality is the path you must follow”.

I tell you this because it leads to a simple question:

*Why would God NOT want you to use this tool?
*Why would God oppose the use of Ketamine to heal?

Ketamine, for me, has shown me (with no hesitations) what “God” is. I have seen and experienced my own construct of “Life After Death”.

I’ve been using Ketamine for years now and am just coming off of it.

You probably already have your answer to this, you simply need to listen and accept then move forward with your healing.

Often times Ketamine forces your mind to see personal, mental, emotional, spiritual conflict. Ketamine makes you dwell in “Discomfort”, because if you’re “Comfortable” you aren’t growing.

Listen to your Soul, that is the true instrument of any “God”…your Soul is the conduit to any Higher Power there may or may not be.

*What do you have to lose?
*Under professional guidance, what do you have to lose other than your “illness” and its hold on you?
*Did “God” not make you? (Imperfections and all?)
*What if this path is the opportunity “God” created for you to heal?

Sorry, I kind of rambled…but you probably get the idea.

I would never trade my experiences with Ketamine. I no longer live in fear, I no longer live for whatever happens after death.

I live for NOW, this moment - not the next or the last.

I hope that helps!

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Thank you so much for your response it is very much appreciated. My only problem is I am so sick physically and mentally I had stomach issues to begin with and didn’t realize that ketamine would make it worse so I have a storm going on with the ketamine that makes me nauseous that nerves and the situation that I’m going through is just making me physically sick and it’s hard for me to think about having another confusion because I am so sick. If anyone else reads this and has had similar experience the continued with success please let me know cuz I’m ready to give up. I may be getting a divorce and it’s one of the hardest things and scariest things. I know that many people have gone to it and come out of that are on the other side but it’s still a scary process and like I said it is making me physically sick. What should I do. Somebody help me please

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Hi Boopster, I’m sorry that you’re going thru such a difficult and painful process right now. Please remember that you will get thru it, one step at a time, but that it will take all the courage and resolve you have. As for the nausea, does your provider give you anti-nausea medicine before and after your fusions? I forget the name of the meds I receive before and after but they’ve greatly helped with my nausea. I will say a prayer for you and your healing, that you will find some relief soon. :heart:

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Hi there. There is a app on Google play called Medito. It is free. Maybe you could download it and get some relief there.
I wish you peace and comfort. :heart:

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Hi Boopster. Please try and finish out your treatments. If you can get the first round down and past the couple of days of side effects, the Ketemine hopefully by then will be kicking in and having a calming effect on your nerves in general. That also, could help your tummy . It’s so, so, worth it. Maybe diffuse some peppermint oil and drink some ginger tea before and after treatment. You’ve got this!!!

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Do they give you Zofran before via IV or orally? Than can give you some to take home too. I also would ask the doctor if you can go down a dose even if you are on the lowest dose, if it is via IV they should be able to titrate it down a little, due to your side effects. Also, if your taking other medications they could be interacting (it’s rare but it can happen). We use ketamine on medic units for patients that are maxed out on opioid meds, or are in need of pain management during transport to the hospital due to the side effects not being bad like opioids. But I would consult both with your psychiatrist (my phone auto corrected to psychic at first- ha ha I mean that too if that’s what you believe in :wink:) and your treatment doctor because these infusion clinics carry more than just ketamine (i.e. Zofran, vitamins, etc.). There are lots of things that could be going on.
When I “came down” from my first ketamine treatment I hated the way my brain felt because it was just like when you come out of anesthesia and your body is like what the crap just happened (because it is obviously used there too)? I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue but just wanted to continue to try and when I went up a dose and got to much I had the same reaction and was nauseous for the week, and asked my doctor to go down some then next treatment, and that really helped. So maybe the dose isn’t the right amount for you?
Anyway, hope that advice helps!!

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Crystalized Ginger is great, CBD helps quite a bit, as does Cannabis (if legal in your area). Those are my “go-to’s” for the constant nausea the meds cause.

Thank you for your kind response. Yes I get zofran that runs at the same time as the ketamine to help with the nausea and then she gave me girlfriend to take when I’m at home and found out that using different too much made me feel worse funny thing is zofran is for nausea but it can also create nausea if taken frequently and also dizziness and lightheadedness and I was so sick to my stomach and lightheaded and Dot dizzy and lightheaded and dizzybut as I’m learning that sort of goes together sometimes when your stomach is really upset and you get clouded and you can just become lightheaded feeling. it has been such a roller coaster ride one day I’m up and thinking this is great it’s working in the next day I’m down but it’s usually because of a situation that’s happened at home I just need to get out of my toxic home but I can’t run away from my problems you don’t know what to do. I have called three psychologists and none of them are taking new patients because of what’s going on in the freaking world today it’s so disturbing

I got really sick everytime- threw up bad. They had given me anti-nausea drug and anti-anxiety drug. The last time I wore the anti nausea patch behind my ear. I felt fine physically, really helped.
As far as the God struggle. I firmly believe you don’t deserve to suffer. Ketamine has helped many who were suffering terribly. So please be kind to yourself, and don’t judge yourself for taking care of yourself.

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I pray that you recievevGods guidance on what to do. Have you considered asking a trusted pastor? I am a new Christian. I became one only after my treatments were finished. It is a decision that God will help you with. I don’t think I will do them again. I do understand your concerns though. May God bless you and heal you in the Loving name of Jesus. :heart:

Thank you.

Good morning and God bless you! I mentioned it to my pastor and quickly got off the subject mainly because somebody else had walked in the office but he never said anything else. I have two more treatments left and in all these posts everyone is saying to finish the 6 treatments. I have noticed a difference in my being able to think things go through so more mental clarity even though I’m anxious I am not as anxious as it was but I’m not feeling well and my stomach I’m always nauseous I can’t really blame the ketamine because I’ve had stomach issues before but I have a deep feeling that it’s not making it better. I do get nausea medication while I’m taking the treatment. God only knows. Welcome to the faith. I know we serve an awesome God and I know eventually I’ll look back in this situation that I’m going through will have just been a storm in life and we all have to go through storms but on the other side of the storm the sun is out.

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Good for you for being brave enough to continue. One don’t ever be ashamed of telling someone you are getting treatment (it’s not illegal and if it’s due to religion trust me there are actual horrible things that you could do, and/or the pastor has heard). From a medical standpoint it seems that your stomach issues are more from your anxiety and stress, and you get yourself worked up (which only makes it worse). Stress can cause tons of stomach issues. I’m not sure if you have a GI doctor but a good RX med that helped my stomach it protonix. It helps reduce the acid, but I feel that is why you are more often than not nauseous. Be mindful of when your are the most nauseous (what is happening, what are your thoughts, are you anxious)? Easier said than done I know!
You are right ketamine doesn’t help it, but it is probably not the cause of it.
From personal perspective (not medical this time :wink:) that use to happen to me and I went and had an endoscopy, GI tests, etc. I realized when I was my most stressed is when it would start manifesting itself as stomach issues. Now it has moved on to nerve pain (yay for me lol) but I am aware of it, and have been managing it for sometime now. So there is hope!

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Thank you so much for your response and you confirmed what the doctor said to me is that I carry all my stress in my stomach but I never realized it could cause also the lightheadedness/dizziness/wooziness that I have, but it was told to me that we are one body and everything is connected even though you think your stomach and your brain not, because I’m going through such a storm and my life it’s wreaking havoc on my stomach and like I said I just feel light-headed and woozy like I am on some kind of medication but I’m not except for the my other medication that I have been prescribed for anxiety and sleep. The strange thing is I feel so nauseous in the morning or in the middle of night when I wake up it’s like I’m ready to puke and then once I get up and start moving around it’s subsides, I am still nauseous but not like when I first wake up. It is like I am pregnant :nauseated_face::rofl::joy: but I am 60 years old.

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I completely understand that! I actually don’t eat in the morning or until the middle of the day because I have a sensitive stomach in the morning, and feel sick. So you aren’t alone in that. Our bodies do change especially with our mental status! That is why yoga, meditation, etc. have become a more common thing because people are trying to destress their life, and prevent sickness and provide healing!
Hopefully, they were able to give you something to help you. As for the lightheadedness that too could be due to stress, being dehydrated, or not having enough sodium in your daily intake. Also, I am sure that told you to make a note when you feel lightheaded (sitting down then standing up, bending over, walking, moving around) and how long it lasts, etc. This is good to monitor because it could be due to cause and effect.

Remember our bodies are very powerful and will compensate themselves if something is off, but can only do this for a matter of time so it is always best to address the issue before it gets out of control (which you are). You are taking all the right steps (have met with a doctor for your physical and mental health) so just keep pushing through!

How long have you been on ketamine? I didn’t realize that it would be long-term. For some reason I thought it was six treatments maybe a couple boosters and that would be it. I guess I didn’t do as much research as I thought I had done. And although it seems to be working I just can’t see doing this for years cuz I also don’t really enjoy the psychedelic effect like a lot of people do. I cry so much during and after

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Hey, completely understand! I actually am on my boosters now. I just started ketamine treatment in January and did the 2 weeks for 3 weeks treatments and now I’m at the boosters. I had my 8th (total but second booster) a week ago and my next booster isn’t for another month. But yes the plan is to get yourself to a place where you only need a booster ever so often (you may not need it at all). Just depends on where you are at in treatment. I have been dealing with depression for 15+ years and recently within a year or two have started getting premenstrual dysmorphic disorder (PMDD) where my hormones get out of line and send me down the suicidal thought process. The suicidal ideation lasts a day or two but in those moments and my impulsiveness I don’t trust myself. I don’t want to feel or be that way, and I have tried everything for it, and came across ketamine. So here I am :blush:
I did have a suicidal ideation “crisis” two days before treatment and when I went into treatment I cried and cried, and addressed my thoughts and struggles with myself. After that treatment I didn’t have suicidal thoughts and was more reflective on why I thought those thoughts, etc. But we will see what this PMDD round holds for me and my hormones :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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