The process of existence or something

First experience with the lozenges. I detached from my shell/ego. Even saw thoughts that normally would define my day/world floating around the space where I just separated from. As I moved further away from those it became increasingly clear how small they were in comparison to the experience of existence.

I saw a great machine. The word Process captures it more accurately. But I really can’t say what it was. It was as if I went on tour of parts of it. I can’t figure if the mechanics were my inner workings, or the process of existence itself.

I wasn’t left with a feeling of fear. Or even feeling small. Just that whoever we are here, in what we call the physical world, are really small in comparison to the grand mechanism, but also important parts of it.

What does it mean? I really can’t say. But it made me feel better. I think perhaps it’s knowing that there is much more to this world, this existence than what appears on the surface. And there was love there, too, amidst the stone, fire and carvings. Much of it was Aztec in appearance.

I go in again in a few days, which scares me. But I’m tired of fear and tired of depression.

Has anyone else seen mechanical related imagery? Massive buildings of galactic scale?

May you be free from suffering

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If you developed that kind of metaphysical experience from the lozenges, then I’m more than a little disheartened that they seem to be unavailable to me. I don’t even get that from an infusion. Goodonya…

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I seem to have a great deal of sensativity to stuff like this. Even with cannabis I have to take 1/4 of what the average Joe would consume.

In my first session I took two lozenges. The first certainly hit me heavily. The second pushed me deeply inward.

After an 1.15 hours I was still in the space, and could’ve stayed had I not been the final patient for the day.

I hope you can experience the space at some point. Please reach out if you do.

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If you would like to explore some of those perceptions, allow me to suggest that you read Robert A. Monroe’s book, “Far Journeys”. All of Monroe’s books are excellent, but I think Far Journeys and Ultimate Journey will be most relevant to you.

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Welcome Jfrancis…what a great experience!!! No mechanical images or massive building for me…just the happiest, calming experience I’ve ever had!!!

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Cheers. Just got the audiobook. Will give it a listen on my way to and from work.

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Hi, Jfrancis! Welcome!

Wow, you described a lot of my ket trips in many ways… a feeling of detachment from my physical self… a sense of the greater cosmos / existence (and what is that anyway?)… who
am I and what were those most important things I wanted to accomplish? Why can’t I do them now? Creative ideas come to me too. Images, motion… the sounds of music on my phone are even sweeter…

I can’t say I saw specific mechanical things but I may have… a lot of images float by.

Sounds like u had a good experience; congrats! :slight_smile:

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What? You dont float into another dimension full of beautiful beautiful things??? What is your experience like? What dose are you getting? I understand if you dont have these experiences you need a higher dose…

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I enjoy the detachment and the trip into the k hole! I finally feel connected to the universe and have found inner peace. I meditate with guided meditations and now I slip off into the atmosphere even with out ketamine. To answer your question… yes I fell into the rabbit hole and walked thru a forest and saw so many spiritual beings around. I no longer worry about the modern world around me as much.

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At this point, I think I’ve had ten infusions. None of them ever produced visions of anything actually recognizable, although there’s something that looks like a dimly lit Egyptian tomb that I seem to pass through every time. The other thing that’s similar to something real is a forest of birch trees in snow. There have been times when I was struck by the incredible beauty of what the visions entailed. I never encountered any beings though, spiritual or otherwise. I think my last dose was 1.2 mg/Kg of body weight.

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Mostly same visuals for me, without the snowy forest. Each time I just get through it, nothing wonderful to see, no bright colors. I’ve done about ten as well and I think it’s time to give up. My anxiety and depression are just as bad, if not worse.

Sorry to hear that, GM. What was the dosage on your last treatment?

90 mg was my last dose.

They give me my dosages in mg/kg of body weight. Last infusion would have worked out to 106.37 mg. But I’m sure I’m bigger than you by a good measure. :wink:

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SO sorry Gingersmom :cry: Saying a few prayers for you & big hugs. There’s other treatments out there that work really well for others.

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I never saw images with this much details like machines or galactic structure, but I think I know what you are talking about. Possibly a similar experience I’ve had was seeing the “creation” itself, which is like an infinite layers of formless things/experiences are simultaneously appearing out of nothing. I also felt the “grand-ness” and felt that nothing really matters. I think I went even further from “being part of it” to “it is actually me!”. This realization really helped me to get out of where I was stuck as my view on self/world was completely changed after that experience. Hope this could help you make some sense out of your experience:)

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That is very weird about the Aztec stuff, because that sort of imagery has come up for me too!

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My dose is 90 mg with a 10 mg booster.
Just a bit over 1.2 mg/kg. I had an infusion yesterday, and it went well.
I was really wonky when I left the clinic. I’d rather be wonky than scared, so a win in my book. Lol
The nurse anesthetist sad that’s the “sweet spot”…1.2 mg/kg, then add the bolus at the beginning.

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Still had to have 2mg versed with phenergan mixed in the infusion. Couldn’t do it without.
Thank you for your kind words.
Best to you and yours.

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Aztec stuff for me too. I’ve felt the detachment like you are floating in another dimension or taking a voyage through different levels or consciousness. I’ve felt the feeling that everything is one, and that you become everything. Love does come up for me as the meaning of life. I contemplate on why everyone can’t get along. I think about the minuteness of our existence. Horton heard a who comes to mind. In this whole universe Earth is but a speck of dust. I’ve also had near death experiences that at first scared the shit out of me. I’ve gotten to the place where If I feel that way, I breathe through it and accept my fate (at least in my head).

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